This blog is for me to discuss the trials and tribulations I am experiencing since my mother passed away unexpectedly in December of 2008. Sometimes I need a way to vent and feel like there is no one who understands. My husband was close to my mother but it is not the same. The pain he feels is no where the pain my brother or myself feel since losing our only parent and our mother.
The last 2 1/2 years have been hard on me. After my mother passed my husband and I became pregnant with her first grandchild, a girl. Addison is now almost 14 months old. We are also expecting our second child, another girl. My brother had a son in this time, he is 5 months.
Sometimes I hate having my daughter around my mother-in-law. I know it is not her fault but I hate that she gets time with my daughter while my mom has to miss out. I hate that my daughter will never get to know the amazing woman my mother was.
I have always said to my husband that I hope I am a fraction of the mother that my mother was to me. I am often told what a great mother I am and how great my daughter is. The only thing that would make this better would be if my mom could see what an amazing granddaughter she has!
I do not think it is fair...Why should I lose my mother when I am only 23? Why should my brother lose his mother at 19? We are barely living our own lives at this point and are now orphans. I cry far too often for the loss of my mother. I miss her. I want to hear her voice. I want to watch the home videos from when I was little but I still cry too hard.
You would think that after almost 3 years it would be easier by now, but its not. I miss her so much. I hope that this blog helps me to get my feelings out, especially since with my hormones I am crazier than ever! If anyone took the time to read this, thank you and I hope something I have said has brought some good thought of your own mother to you!
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